Struggling with Anxiety?

Why your brain isn't broken, and how hypnotherapy can help 

I spent the best part of 25 years in marketing, where the deadlines were big and the personalities were bigger, all while raising a family in and around it. So, when I talk about lying awake at two in the morning with the next day's worries running on a loop, I'm not reading it off a textbook. I've been there, wide-eyed in the dark, heart thudding at something that could easily have waited until breakfast. 

For years I assumed that was simply my wiring, that some people are just the anxious sort, and I'd drawn the short straw. 

Turns out I had it wrong, and if anxiety has started to feel like part of who you are, I'd love to gently change your mind about that too. 

First, you're not faulty 

Anxiety is sly. It convinces you that everyone else got handed a calmer mind and yours went missing somewhere along the way. The thumping chest, the thoughts that won't sit still even when you're exhausted, and underneath it all, that low hum of dread that turns up without an invitation and never says why it's come. 

It's draining, and it quietly chips away at you, because on top of feeling anxious, you start to feel broken for feeling anxious at all. 

You're not broken. Not even close. What's happening inside you is a very ordinary, very human system doing exactly what it was built to do. It's just got a little carried away. 

What's actually going on up there 

There's an old, instinctive part of your brain whose entire job is to keep you alive. It's wonderful at it. The only snag is that it isn't terribly bright about what counts as danger. A sabre-toothed tiger and a curt email from your boss look much the same to this part of your brain. So does a 3am worry about money. 

The moment it senses a threat, real or imagined, it doesn't pause to check the facts. It floods you with adrenaline and braces you to fight, flight or freeze. Heart racing, mind whirring and sleep long forgotten. 

Thousands of years ago, that reaction saved lives. These days it's just as likely to go off over a traffic jam or an inbox that won't stop refilling. And when it goes off too often, it gets a bit stuck and jumpy, ready to sound the alarm at the smallest thing. That stuck, over-rehearsed state is what we call anxiety. Not a fault. A habit your brain has slipped into. 

Why "just calm down" is such useless advice 

If anyone has ever told you to stop worrying, you'll know how infuriating it is.  

It doesn't work because anxiety isn't running the show from the sensible, reasoning part of your mind - the part that knows, deep down, you're probably fine. It's coming from that older, instinctive part, and that part doesn't speak the language of logic. You can no more reason your way out of anxiety than you can reason your way out of feeling cold. 

So if you've been quietly cross with yourself for not simply snapping out of it, you can let that go now. You were trying to win a fight in entirely the wrong place. 

The stress bucket 

Here's the picture I come back to time and again with the people I work with. 

Imagine you're carrying a bucket and everything you cope with trickles into it. Work, money, family, that slightly awkward thing you said in 2020 that your brain still likes to replay at random. A bit of stress sloshing about in there is completely normal; we're built for it. 

The bucket empties, too. Its main drain is good sleep and specifically the dreaming kind, when your mind sifts through the day and quietly files it all away. But here's the cruel twist; when you're anxious, sleep is the first thing to go, so the bucket stops draining at the exact moment more keeps pouring in. It brims, then overflows, and once it does, everything feels sharper and more frightening than it really is. 

Bring that level back down, and the world becomes manageable again. That, in a nutshell, is the work. 

I know this bucket well, because for years I filled mine without noticing. Big work deadlines that needed sorting by five. Getting home and trying to be properly present for my children, on top of the walk I'd promised the dog, and the friend I kept meaning to actually see rather than just message. Then there's the stuff nobody warns you about - being handed a note on a Wednesday that says the class needs a maths hat, or a World Book Day costume, by Friday, and somehow finding one. I was so busy being capable that I didn't notice how full my own bucket had got, until sleep started slipping and my mind wouldn't switch off no matter how tired I was. 

It's a story I hear again and again from the people I work with, whatever's filling their bucket that week - work, family, health worries, whatever it happens to be. Once the mind quietens, they tell me they can properly be in the moment again, sleep comes back, and oddly, life doesn't feel more urgent afterwards - it feels less so. Not everything needs doing today, and saying no stops feeling like letting someone down. 

How Solution Focused Hypnotherapy helps 

Two simple things, working together. 

The first is the conversation. We don't spend session after session picking over everything that's gone wrong, which for a lot of people only wears the groove deeper. Instead, we look forwards, we talk about how you'd like things to feel, notice the moments when life is already a shade better, and build from there. It's calm, it's practical, and people are often surprised by how hopeful it feels. 

The second is the hypnosis, and no, it's nothing like the telly. There’s no swinging watches, no clucking like a chicken, and nobody hands over control of anything. It's simply deep relaxation, that lovely drifting state you pass through on the way to sleep. In it, your brain gets the chance to do its filing and empty the bucket, a little like a top-up of good dreaming sleep. That settles the overactive alarm and lets you feel more like yourself. 

Bit by bit, the 2am wakings ease and the chest loosens. That background hum quietens too, not because you've forced it, but because your brain has finally been given the conditions to settle. 

Anxiety help in Cheltenham, Gloucester and online 

I work with people right across the country online, with in-person sessions in Cheltenham coming soon. Sessions are warm and steady, and you'll never be judged for a moment of it. You don't need it all worked out before you arrive, and you certainly won't be asked to dredge up anything you'd rather leave well alone. 

One honest word, hypnotherapy works alongside your GP, never instead of them. If your anxiety feels severe, or you're really struggling, please talk to your doctor too.  

A small first step 

If any of this has landed, the kindest thing you can do next is also the smallest. I offer a free, no-pressure chat - a chance to talk through what's going on and see whether we're a good fit. No obligation and nothing you need to leap into before you're ready. 

You've carried this on your own for long enough. Reaching out isn't you admitting you can't cope; it's you deciding you'd like to feel better. 

Small shifts in thinking, big changes in what's possible. 

Jen - Mind&Burt Therapies